ASSALAMUALAIKUM W.B.T :-)
a lot has been happening since the last tym i logged in.. Citer-citer suka, duka, bahagia, episod luka.. (wah!) suma ada~~ heheh... xdelah... masakan wanie tidak gumbira sedangkan hati berbunga-bunga :-) haha..... poyo! ngeee~~
The thing is... i learnt one of the best lesson of life these few days... One morning, tgh bsiap2 nak pgi fakulti, saye bukak radio ikim. Mase tu die citer pasal 'Suka berpada-pada, benci dengan sederhana.' At that time i did agree with it, tp hati nie, susah sikit nak terima.... yelah... kalau dh suke, kalau dah sayang, its really hard to NOT love unconditionally. Tapi kite kan hamba Allah... mane boleh kita sayang yang lain lebih dari cinta kepada Allah....
Until one (actually two) day..... i received one lesson that made me realize.. one lesson that i'll never forget... a lesson that changed my life forever.... (hehe... drama plak wanie nie.. tp betol la!)
When we love somebody so very much, we love them unconditionally. We like everything about them, even the not-so-good ones about them :-) we like they way they eat, they sleep, they talk, they make you laugh, their smile... sumelah! its a feeling that brings happiness and makes you thrill! Adrenaline kicks in! You never got sick coz falling in love induces healthy hormones! Who didnt felt happiness when someone loves you unconditionally :-)
Tapi.... when we love someone too much, more than we are able or ALLOWED to give... we tend to get hurt... hurt over simple things! Things yang sgt simple. Things yang tak sesuai for a drop of tears. But i cried because i miss someone so much... kan? kan? not a good reason to cry for. hehe... You miss someone because u felt lost without him, it hurts... Miss someone when you cant see him/her or heard of him/her all day long...wondering, awak da makan ke... makan katne.... ngan sape..... sihat tak..... penat ea..... okaylah..... i wont ask coz i'm letting you live :-) but i felt so empty....... so ..... so lost! i cried for almost the whole day.. the only times i didnt cry is when i'm in the libry (otherwise people think i'm an emo-crybaby-demanding-attention), and make myself busy with my already hectic life. And of course.... when i'm teaching (love you little angels..)
masok day 2 pulak...thank heavens for my ability to remain in control of myself... hehe... i said to dear ole' me... "For crying out loud, wanie get a life!" And yeah.. so i did.... those excruciating moments without my loved one made me think.... i always remember an advice he once told me... always refer to only HIM whenever i felt sad and lonely... I prayed so my heart will calm down... i prayed that i wont think bad thoughts about everything and anything..... Until finally , i did cool down... i did got calmed..... well adela i did some things also...Alhamdulillah....
When i did calmed down, i sat down and my thoughts starts to wander..... i began to think... and think ... and think... i remembered mase dgr ikim on the same day dorg sembang pasal suka dan benci tu, about an old lady.. this dear ole lady sells tempe... xde anak, xde husband.... the only sumber rezeki nenek tu is hasil jualan tempe die hari2... One day, die buat tempe.... tp unfortunately tempe die xmo kembang..... die biase buat pagi, and so petang mase nak menjual, tempenye da kembang and masak.... (masak yg masak taw bukan masak sbb goreng ke ape.) tp aritu, i cant remember the reason la.. tempe nenek tu x jadi....kebetulan die org yg warak.... tgh ari b4 bniaga, die cek tempe... tak menunjukkan tanda2 nak kembang pon.... die doa kat Allah... mintak Allah tolg supaya tempe nye jadi..... kalau tak nanti die xde duit nak makan hari tu..... Die sabar dan tak mengeluh.... dah nak petang, cek lagi... tempenye tak jugak jadi2.... nenek tu doa lagi.... merayu supaya tempe die jadi.... supaya dipermudahkan dan dibukakan jalan untuk die cari rezeki hari tu..... so die pagi jugak tempat jual tempe dgn hati yang kurang tenteram... risau..... yelah... takut, tak makan.... sampai kat tempat jual tempe, nenek tu tgk je org2 sbelah die yg jual tempe dgn sgt successful..... die xde org nak bli sbb tempenye stengah masak.. da nak jadik... tp stengah masak... xde sape nk beli... ade yg singgah, tp x jadi.... die mule la rase sedih..... sehinggalah hari da nak malam.... satu ape pon die blum jual.... tapi ade sorg puan nie dtg singgah kat die... "Nenek, saye nak beli tempe." Nenek tu kate, baik puan beli pada org lain.. sbb tempe saye rosak... So die g la kat org sbelah... pastu jap gi org sbelah tu kasik tempe kat puan tu.... tp puan tu kate pulak.. "Awak ade tak tempe yang stengah masak?" Nenek tu ape lagi.... pasang telinga... org sbelah kate, xde... so nenek tu kate... "Puan, saye ade tempe yg stengah masak..." rupenye madam tu nak bli yg stgh masak sbb nak anta kat anak die yg kat oversea... teringin makan tempe.. kalo anta yang da masak nanti, sampai sane da xley makan..... So madam tu beli sume skali kat nenek tu :-)
itulah die.... pengajaran... Allah lebih tahu apa yang terbaik untuk hambaNya.... kuncinya kene ... SABAR :-) kite kene yakin dgn bantuan Allah, kene berserah segala-galanya pada Dia.... kerana dia lebih tahu apa yang terbaik.... So, sabar... then in my case pulak.... hehe.... i said i agreed yang kite kene 'Suka berpada-pada' kan... but i said it was hard not to love someone unconditionally. After all this happened, i think.. well, lets say i was about to fall of a cliff.. If i fall then i'll shatter, and i might even die.. (who didnt die kalau jatuh dari cliff kan?) then if i want to hold onto my life, i must depend on a strong tree branch so that i wont fall, instead of a tiny twig...... If i hang on to the branch, i can climb myself up to safety... but if i hang on to the tiny little twig, i might fall off and ... die....
Depending on someone to make you happy WILL NOT make you happy. Depending on something to make you happy WILL NOT make you happy. Happiness comes from within! It comes from inside you....... only you can make you happy...... not your loved ones, not even you cute little kitty cats..... And how do we find happiness from the inside? By having faith in the One and Only, Allah s.w.t.... We must have faith in all His plans for us..... We must have faith that ONLY HE LISTENS...... only He knows what we feel, only He knows whats best for us..... Only He can grant ANY of our wishes (as long as tidak berlanggar dgn syarak of course)..... And so i did find happiness..... And i learnt my lesson of "Suka berpada-pada..." hehe.... if we are happy from the inside, then we have love. If we have love, then we are able to give our love to our loved ones without expecting anything in return.... as long as they are happy and well, then we are too....
why love hurts?? because of expectations!!!! we expect to be taken care of 24 hours a day 7 days a week! We expect to be treated like a queen/king! We expected to macam2 lah! See how this is wrong.....?
BUT dear darling.....
Even so, people found each other for a reason..... i felt loved... i felt appreciated... i felt taken care of.... by you..... every day of my life i've been thanking Him for making you a part of me... you were the missing piece of me... my missing soul, my other half..... you taught me things... you gave advices..... you were the answer to my prayers from up above...... He gave me you, because you always lead me back to Him. And you never failed in making me a better person each day of our lives.... Never... i felt happy when i'm with you, and i thank Him for giving those moments for us to share... i felt lonely because you were busy, i turned to Him so he could help me go through my day.... i felt dizzy and tired because of the challenges i'm facing in everything, i remembered everything you taught me about Him. And during those painful days i got hurt because i missed you, made me learn to trust you with all my heart.... and i do... without a doubt :-) and so, i learnt 'suka berpada-pada'.... hehe... And dear, everytime i felt sad, and i prayed to Him, you will suddenly appear! It happens all the time :-)
Tapi I'm still learning to cope with this.. Its hard, but its worth it :-)
So everyone..(if anyone is reading)...... Have faith in Our Creator^^ Because He has always been The One~~
No comments:
Post a Comment